Minutes 1/27/11

TWLOHA Minutes 1/27/11

Pat, Karissa, Hilary, Elizabeth, Angela, Katie, Soko, Jimmy, Jared, and Irsa were present.

Highs and Lows about our breaks was the icebreaker.

Pat read the latest post on the blog aloud.

We had some discussion time and talked about what a new year means to us. We mentioned that a good way to think of a new year is a fresh start, but how that can sometimes be hard.

We talked about New Year’s Resolutions and made some if we didn’t have one.

Soko: I will sleep eight hours every night.

Karissa: I will be more honest with myself, and trust others with how I’m feeling.

Pat: I will try to find something bigger than myself.

Hilary: I will not get caught up in work and try to be more social.

Angela: I will live more in the moment and not unnecessarily worry about the past or future.

Group Resolution: We will support each other and our community.

Goals for the Semester

Purpose for the Pain Event

Red Flag Event (see the minutes from December 2^nd for details)

Fundraising – Hilary had the idea to have an event where vendors would rent a space and we would also charge a small fee for admission. Karissa thought maybe we could get other organizations on campus involved.

We are working on flyers to put around campus.

PEAC has given us the responsibility to bring an Out of Darkness Walk to campus.

Karissa talked about the wiki page. An e-mail will be sent out with the information on how to access the page. We want to try to start using it more.

We talked about possibly having a Valentine’s Day event. An idea was to put boxes at all the front desks and have people write positive notes and submit them. Then we would hand them out on the mall to make people’s days a little brighter. We decided to work on this at an upcoming meeting.

Where do we go from here?

This is a new year filled with all the possibility of new beginnings. New hopes and new dreams, new goals and new resolutions. This is the time of year that we can be hopeful. Something has to go better this year than last year. Still, a new year brings with it negatives too: new failures, new disgraces, new screw ups and new crazy. So, where do we go from here?

Forward. We go forward. But how?

Courage. Courage, friend, and we'll be okay. In the words of Satellite, "We've got to find a way to love again." While we have the chance, let's love again. Let's learn to love each day and its possibilities. Let's learn to love each other. Let's learn the importance of not being alone, and the support of community. Let's learn the magic of finding passion and doing something we love. Let's learn to move forward, to stop dwelling on the past and just live.

It's hard, I know. Trust me, I know. I know what it's like to wake up and feel like the weight of the world is on top of you. I know what it's like to be heading to the door and have a wave of panic rip through you without consideration for how well you were doing that day. I  know what it's like to sit on the floor in a ball, rocking back and forth as if the motion will somehow make you forget the emotion and the tears streaming down your face. I know. And I know you know. But, we can't give up. We can't let our demons win, because we deserve to live. We can do this.

Courage.
And we'll be okay.

with hope,
pat

Happy New Years

New Years is a time of joy for most. For others it can be the hardest time of year. I've experienced both types of New Years, but every year I am reminded of the same things. I am reminded that although a new calendar is being put up, the pain and heartache of 2010 will always remain. The mistakes I made and regrets I have do not disappear with last year but do indeed carry over to this new year. The friends I have made will (hopefully) remain and the friends I lost will most likely remain lost. A new year does not entirely wipeout the past. However, with the new year comes new possibilities and new hope. I am able to look forward to the experiences 2011 will bring my way, whether they be happy or sad, constructive or destructive. I can hardly imagine the adventures and friends I will discover. This is a time where I can recognize and work on my faults. A time where I can also recognize and expand on the good inside of me. I can fix, alter, and grow. I have hope that this year might be better than the last. Hope that I can grow into a bigger and better person.

Hope. Maybe that’s what New Years is really about. Hope that a new year will bring something better than we’ve had. Hope that there is something better out there. Hope that we haven’t seen all that life has had to offer us just quite yet. This hope is what keeps me going at the end of the day. Hope is the light at the end of the tunnel for me.

So Happy New Years. May you keep your resolutions. May the next 12 months be filled with bigger and better adventures. May you meet people that help you grow. May you have hope.

With hope and love,

Karissa

Minutes 12/9

Minutes December 9^th

Hilary, Pat, Irsa, Liz, Caitlin, Milana, Claire, Katie, and Angela were there

We made our mixed CDs for the St. Edwards chapter about Hope and The War Within! If you want to write a letter to the members you can drop it off at the Kiewit front desk. Tell the desk worker it’s for Pat and it will be put in his mailbox.

Minutes 12/2/10

December 2^nd Meeting

Pat, Karissa, Hilary, Milana, Caitlin, Liz, Elizabeth, Andrew, Katie, and Angela were present

Our meeting’s theme was honesty

We talked about two of our values – help and community

Two truths and a lie was the icebreaker

Karissa read us Pat’s story about honesty (Check it out…it’s posted below!)

We had a little discussion time. We talked about the importance of being honest with yourself and others. Even though sometimes it may be difficult to not push people away, it’s worth it when you’re open with people.

Upcoming Event to raise awareness

A suicide is committed every 40 seconds in the U.S. One day in the spring, we will put a red flag in the ground on the KFC lawn every 40 seconds, each flag representing a person who you may have known or been close to. We will make a poster so people understand the meaning behind the flags. We will also have a table on the mall so people can learn what they can do to help prevent suicide.

CD Exchange

We will be making a CD for St. Edwards University’s chapter in Austin, TX

Pat sent out an email so we can vote on the theme

We will also be writing individual letters to the members of the chapter. Also, we will be thinking of explanations for why we chose each song. Next week’s meeting will be dedicated to working on this.

Honesty

Honesty.

Honestly, I don't know what to say about it. Perhaps I'll tell you a story.

There was a boy. He lived a pretty good life. He had friends, finally, and he was figuring his life out. Still, he lived with this feeling that something was gnawing slowly on his heart- ripping and chewing away at what little there was. He was a boy with a broken heart, a heart that was healing. He could not take the gnawing, but he did not know why it was there. Then, he did something scary, but something very brave: he told a friend everything about himself. He was shaking beforehand and afterward he left the room, too worked up and too worried to wait for the friend's reaction.

It turns out that things worked out alright. The boy's secrets didn't need to be secrets. So what if he liked other boys? So what if he liked girls too? So what if he had lost his faith? So what if he was a little crazy? So what that life had been hard? So what that he was scared?

The friend stayed in his room, and when the boy came back for his forgotten pop, the friend smiled and asked if the boy had expected anything to be different.

Well, I can tell you the boy did expect things to be different, and it turns out they were. But, things weren't negatively affected like the boy thought they would be. Things were changed for the good.

That decision to be honest ruined me. Now I am open about a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, I still have secrets. But, I'm a much happier person.

I'm going to steal and butcher an analogy that my psychologist used now.

My life, my story is like a piece of art in a gallery. People pass by taking glances or not, and some people even stop to stare. But, there has always been a curtain up in front of the painting, in front of my heart. It is hard to hold that curtain there. My arms are tired, and my soul is weary. So, every once in awhile I invite someone in for a private screening. I open up that curtain for just a little bit and I let them see everything.

I'll tell you, it's refreshing. It's like rain to clear the dirt off of an old soul. It's cathartic, better than a double rainbow. It's like cool water rushing over your sweat streaked skin as you dive headfirst into the deep end. But, I'd be lying if I didn't say it isn't frightening. Almost like the rain appears to be a thunderstorm, and the dive into the pool is from fifty feet high. Still, it may just be worth it.

It may be worth it to have true friends. It may be worth it to let someone in. It may be worth it to remind ourselves that we are alive and human. It may be worth it to have someone to lean on. And, it is definitely worth remembering that we do not live alone. We need each other, and the only way to form true community is to be honest.

And, honestly, it gets easier. Each time you open up and share a secret it feels less like you are tearing away a part of your soul for someone else to handle. It feels less like you are placing your world in someone else's trust. It feels less like the high dive and more like a pencil jump off of the spring board. I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say, but I do want you to think that it's worth it. Give honesty a shot. It's what TWLOHA is all about.

with hope,
pat

Thanksgiving

It's a hard day. I mean, you're supposed to just stop everything you are doing and muster up the strength to remember what you're thankful for in life. Honest reflection is difficult. Truly noticing the privilege of our lives is tough. And, that's all without throwing on top a bought of depression or just a bad fucking day. Hell, that's not including the energy it can take to be civil to your family, regardless of if you love them or not. So, what's my point?

Honestly, I'm unsure.

I mean, I want to tell you you're beautiful and that's something I am thankful for. I want to tell you that your story is important. I want to tell you it's alright to be a little (or a lot) pissed off on Thanksgiving Day. I mean sometimes life can suck. But, even at its hardest, life is all we have. You can have me, too, if when it's hard I can have you too. Can promise each other that? That when the going gets tough we will remember to lean on each other?

So, if today was hard for you, I hope you'll reach out. You can email me @ twloha.creighton@gmail.com. Just put my name in the subject or something. Otherwise, I hope you'll find a friend. And if today was easy for you, I hope finding things to be thankful for brought a lovely smile to your face. And maybe all of us can be thankful some day. I mean, the stars are gorgeous, and nothing beats a picturesque sunset. It's just a little hard to notice sometimes.